Living the family life

  When you were an infant, I would look around at all the house work then look at you sleeping in my arms and I would think “5 more minutes and I’ll get up”. I would sit and stare at you. It’s hard to believe that I carried you for nine months and now you’re here. I dreamed of these 5 minutes for a very long time...   You are now a toddler, you beg me for 5 more minutes so you don’t have to go to bed or help pick up toys. You either continue to play or come cuddle with me knowing that I would give you more than those 5 minutes. With housework and children, I often lose track of time.    When you are a young child whom will start school, you’ll tell me how you asked the teacher for 5 more minutes to play today. You‘ll tell me all about your day with so much enthusiasm that you make yourself excited for tomorrow. I’ll laugh and listen at all the things my baby did today just to listen to you talk. These are the times I will hold dear.   When you become a te...

         I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t ask to think this way or feel this way. Believe me when I say I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to feel sad or anxious, because this is not who I am. I can’t help it, it just happens, sometimes for no reason at all. For me it’s not the kind where I want to lay around all day. I still get up to deal with everything the day has. I don’t want to be shut away from others, I dont want to be secluded, my depression doesn’t always work that way. Though I also don’t want anyone to see me like this. Sometimes I just need a significant change of scenery. Sometimes I need a chance to get away from the suffocation of every day life. Please understand, not all depression makes you push people away. Not all depression makes you seclude yourself. Depression is different for everyone. Nobody wants to be in this deep dark hole that is depression. We do fight, we just don’t always win. Sometimes it takes over like a black sheet...