Forgive me

Forgive me as I sit here to take a minute. Forgive me as I lock myself in the kitchen to eat lukewarm food that I have reheated for the third time today. Forgive me as I breakdown while the kids play in their room. I just need a moment…
Forgive me because I vent about my “perfect” stay at home life. Forgive me as I complain about doing something you dream to do. Forgive me as I outburst at you that you have no idea what this life is like. Truth is...no one told me either.
Children, forgive me as I get angry sometimes. Forgive me as I only want a moment to myself at times. Forgive me as I might seem to get onto or correct you often but I only want the best for you. Forgive me...I’m trying my hardest for you.
Forgive me for being anxious all the time, no one told me my anxiety would get worse after having children. Forgive me as I cry, at times I just get so overwhelmed and feel lost. Forgive me when I get depressed, I can’t always fight it. Forgive me when I worry to much, I worry because I care.
No, my life is it perfect. It’s hard, lonely, exhausting, endless and selfless. Lack of sleep and self care can really get to you. Please don’t tell me I have it easy because unless you’ve stood where I am, you would never understand. You stand and judge me when you have no clue of everything going in my world. I can go to many parks, stores, and play dates and still feel lonely. Please understand that. My life is full of love and joy but that doesn’t mean it’s always fun or easy. Children are a joy but raising them can be a difficult road.
So I forgive you for judging me as you stand on the outside looking in but please forgive me as you don’t see all the battles I fight. 

-A mom

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