Living the family life

To my friends who protect and serve    To my friends who grew up to be firefighters, EMTs, EMS, officers both police and correctional, and military.   As I sit here on my porch this morning in this city, I watch several ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars go by. For me this is normal to see them pass multiple times daily. I am reminded constantly that they are everywhere and that I’m safe. If you know me personally and know where I live then you would know that I don’t always feel safe. It’s sometimes hard to feel safe in almost downtown of a major city. Yet when things go wrong, your brothers and sisters are not to far behind to protect, serve and rescue. For that I want to say thank you.   I pray for you and your families daily. I pray for your safety and health. I pray for your mental health because only God knows what you’re battling. I pray for your families. I know they’re proud of you, as am I. I grew up with many of you and to see you serving your c...

   They say it gets easier as the kids get older. The tantrums, fussing, whining, “mommy this” and “mommy that”, and messes. They tell you that you’ll get it. I’ve even heard “it takes time”.   Please stop. Stop saying it gets easier. I understand that but I’m struggling now. My mental health is struggling now. As mothers we’re told not to blink because it goes by fast yet you also say “it gets easier” so which is it? One sounds like I should live in the moment and the other sounds like I am wanting time to go faster so it gets easier. Not how it sounds to you? Let me try another approach.   You’re listening to your toddlers screaming, home is a mess despite your efforts to clean it for the hundredth time this week, dinner didn’t go as planned, you clean up dinner and kids, and finally get the kids off to bed. You finally go to bed after finishing laundry and not even a few hours later you wake up to a crying child whom had an accident in bed. You get up to chan...

Forgive me as I sit here to take a minute. Forgive me as I lock myself in the kitchen to eat lukewarm food that I have reheated for the third time today. Forgive me as I breakdown while the kids play in their room. I just need a moment… Forgive me because I vent about my “perfect” stay at home life. Forgive me as I complain about doing something you dream to do. Forgive me as I outburst at you that you have no idea what this life is like. Truth is...no one told me either. Children, forgive me as I get angry sometimes. Forgive me as I only want a moment to myself at times. Forgive me as I might seem to get onto or correct you often but I only want the best for you. Forgive me...I’m trying my hardest for you. Forgive me for being anxious all the time, no one told me my anxiety would get worse after having children. Forgive me as I cry, at times I just get so overwhelmed and feel lost. Forgive me when I get depressed, I can’t always fight it. Forgive me when I worry to much, I wo...

    Happy 2019!   Sounds weird doesn’t it? That we are only one year away from 2020. I’m sure that over half of you have made New Year’s resolutions, whether it be to lose weight, be more organized,  or simply learn a new skill.  Well I’ll be completely honest with you, I’m not going to really make one this year, or at least nothing big.   My New Year’s resolution for 2019 is simply take better care of my mental health and well-being.    *Backstory*  Since 2014, I have been on a rollercoaster with my mental health. Pregnancy made my anxiety worse. I had Leah in March of 2015 and due to a few factors I ended up with postpartum depression and anxiety. It wasn’t strong but it was enough and many people know that your first child changes EVERYTHING. I became pregnant again 6-7 months later. I had a fairly mediocre pregnancy but my mental health still suffered. Balancing a new baby when pregnant wasn’t easy. In July of 2016 I had Railee. This ti...

   It is almost November. As I sit here and think about that, I wonder where has the year gone. My youngest just turned a-year-old not too long ago and as I watch him walk around I wonder to myself “when did you get so big?”  One minute it feels like I’m celebrating my birthday in January then I turn  around and here we are going into November. Where has the year gone?    I’m told that the older you get, the faster time flies. My husband taught me that the more kids we have the faster time goes. Both statements, in my opinion, are true.   You see, all year long I have been so focused on my children, my home, and life’s ups and downs that I didn’t see how fast time was going.  When it comes to my family, I don’t feel like I wasted any time. But when it comes to being stressed about my home, worried about finances, dealing with life ups and downs, where did I lose so much time. That’s just it. Worrying and stressing.   How much time this year...

My sweet loves,   Each one of you were placed in my life at a precise moment. Each of you have taught me something different. All of you have taught me that love is the most important thing in our lives.   The truth is, I love you all differently but equally. You have taught me life lessons that I didn't know I needed. You have given me the greatest gift in your own way. Watching you grow is the most exciting, scary, irritating, amazing, heartbreaking, joyous thing in life.   As your mommy/bonus mom I am not ready for you to grow. I look at you and see that little one with the thirst to learn. I do, however, want to see you grow. I want to see the amazing person that I know you'll be. I am scared because I know that life is hard and cruel at times. There will be your your first bad grade, first heartbreak, first fight, first ended friendship, but there will also be your good report card, your first love, your first real friends, your first car. You see, as your mo...

  Stop what you're doing for a moment. Breathe. Don't think about anything. Take a deep breath. Tune out the world for just a moment. Do you feel the rise and fall as you breathe? Take a deep breath. Just breathe.   To the mom hiding in a room alone trying to not break down in front of your babies. You will make it. Your hard work isn't for nothing. It's OK to break down. You need it. You're not struggling alone, I promise. Being a mom is HARD. It is by far one of the most difficult jobs in the world. Do not feel guilty because you needed a moment to break down or breathe. Those babies in there depend on you and you need this time so you can regroup. You're doing the best you can and those babies love you. You're their world. You need to care for you so you can care for them. You've got this.   To the mom who is hiding to sneak a snack. Eat. You're constantly making sure those babies are fed and well nourished. How many meals have you skipped? Quit...